Golf Humor Column- Partly Cloudy
I went golfing. I looked the actual window-it was overcast and grey. Better check the Yahoo weather page. The Yahoo weather page has weather outlooks, satellite views, radar scans, precipitation measurements, pollen counts, travel planners, everything- a weather junkie's dream.
'Partly cloudy,' it stated that. 'No rain today.' I grabbed my clubs and headed for Griffith Park. Driving alongside the course, I could see golfers about the second and third loopholes. I love it when you can see the course from the street. It adds to the anticipation.
'Today will be the day!', I said to myself. 'Today is time I avenge the previous 7,000 games. Today I will shoot a solid score!'
On another method hole, it started to drizzle on / off. It rains so rarely in LA, Do not even have a golf offset umbrella. I have a small collapsible black umbrella- a premium for subscribing to the LA Times. I unzipped the zipper privately of my bag and took against eachother. I pushed the button on the side and it popped open. It was about the size
of the umbrellas they put in the Mai Tais at Trader Vic's- it barely kept the rain off my head.
By 3rd workout hole the random drizzle became a steady drizzle. 'This is temporary,' I believed my foursome. 'It's not supposed to rain at this point. I checked it on Aol.'
Waiting to the fourth tee, a Japanese woman the actual foursome at us referred to it as a times. She took out her handphone and called the clubhouse to getting a ride for you to her automobile. One of the city workers arrived from a battered green pick-up at a time city seal on the entrance. He loaded her clubs in your bed as she climbed on the inside passenger lounge chair.
'Anybody more?', he asked. There were two foursomes standing. Everybody shook their heads. Since city courses don't allow refunds, everybody decided to stay it out a little further.
By the fifth hole, it was pouring. The wind blew hard and cold. The three people into my foursome must hav e called in because a ranger looked in a four seat golf convey.
They got in, holding their clubs between their legs. Somehow the ranger was able to keep a cigarette going. He looked at me along with smoke and rain. 'What about you'll? Had enough?'
Enough? It's only your fifth hole. I said, 'It'll clear to # 1. I checked it on Digg.' He looked at me including the metal plate in my head was showing. Black clouds loomed over the Hollywood Piles. Water dripped off the end of my golf cap onto my shoes.
The eleventh hole is really a par three effective. The green was under 4 inches water. My tee shot plopped beneath the surface on the far fringe of the safe. I found it and hit it as hard simply because could. It moved slowly under normal water stopping slightly short for the hole- about 40 feet or indeed.
On the fourteenth hole, a raging creek roared along the green back toward the club house. Two kids were riding the current, sitting on their golf bags, from other pitching wedges as paddles. I waved. 'It stops soon', I yelled. 'I checked it on Yahoo!' I had heard stories by the crazy hermit that thrives on the education. The kids thought they had found your husband.
The fifteenth hole was without a water hazard until today. An obvious pond had formed for that right side of saving money. I saw a family of ducks wearing rubber boots and yellow slickers huddled together on a dirt mound in the center of the rain water. The mother sheltered them through collapsible umbrella that said 'LA Times' on the inside.
The entire eighteenth fairway was under 3 feet of the river. I had to stand atop a bench in order to hit a tee shot. Climbing on my golf bag like the two kids, I held two fairway woods together with the club heads at opposite ends. With this homemade kayak paddle I made my way to the soccer ball. I could see it within the ground, a crab nibbling on the Titleist emblem. I slid off the golf bag and took a wild swing. The ball jumped out belonging to the water and flew about twenty little legs. I repeated that until Received to the green. A new course record- 1256.
I dripped into the clubhouse, my Foot-Joys creating a 'squish, squish, squish' sound. The pro didn't look up but said 'You returning tomorrow?'
'Of direction. It's going being sunny throughout the working day. I checked it on Yahoo.'